ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
