you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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