I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
