She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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