Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
