He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
