i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
