I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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