Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
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