The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
not ubering you a puppy
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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