In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
