Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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