oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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