her vagine was all disorganized.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
