drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
