I'm eating all of the evidence.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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