what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
