Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
