And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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