You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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