Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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