Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
