Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Found your dick twin last night
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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