i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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