Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
