Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
