ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
