btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
