If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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