It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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