i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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