Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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