My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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