it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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