eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
