Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
