Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
