His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
