How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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