You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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