i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
