is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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