Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
