***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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