i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
