I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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