hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
