the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize