He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
