I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
