he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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