I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
