I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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