my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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