I heard we made out
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
