Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
