He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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