i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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