He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
