Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
