Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
