if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
smell my finger.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
