I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is the high leading the old right now
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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