Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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